she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
