Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
