but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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