I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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