we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
