btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
