Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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