I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
