sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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