im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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