it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
