I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
