I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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