I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dignity is for republicans.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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