Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
