with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
