Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
