dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
