im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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