i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
