i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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