u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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