Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
