ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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