so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
