it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
