I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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