i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
