is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
