Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
