Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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