their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
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hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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