He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
