Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her vagine was all disorganized.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
