i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
