i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
