apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
