We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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