Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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