No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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