I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
