I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
