Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
