chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just threw up on my dentist
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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