the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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