every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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