It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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