i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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