We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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