I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
