I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
