allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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