i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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