It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
