I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
