he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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