And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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