I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
